Biden's Press conference

Question:  You claim President Trump is responsible for all the violence we see in various cities throughout the country.  Yet, all these states and cities are controlled by democrats. 

Answer:  I understand what you are saying, but you must be listening to the republican propaganda.  These cities and states are controlled by democrats, but the demonstrators are all Trump supporters that are encouraging this behavior and wear masks and blame it on the democrats.  The democratic elected officials do not have the control of law enforcement and Trump will not permit the National Guard to come into these cities to stop the violence.  As long as this looting and destruction continues, Trump and his allies will continue to blame the democrats.  You must be a dog face pony soldier.

Question; President Trump is pushing to have the United States to be first to land a man on Mars.  If you get elected, will you do the same? 

Answer: Look, I already have been to the moon and Mars so I have already been there.  Just last week I came back from having a Mars candy bar at the Moon candy shop in Wilmington DE.  I have already beaten Trump on this issue.  Come on man.

Question: You support the Green New Deal that would eliminate fossil fuel production and raise cattle in this country.  Could you elaborate on that?

Answer:  Look like I have said many times, I support the Green New Deal and everything included in this plan.  I have said many times I will stop Fracking and future oil exploration.  We do not need fossil fuels as we are running most of our country on solar power.  Just today, I rode in a solar Plane and flew from Wilmington DE to Wyoming.  So we know Solar can get us around the country.

Follow-up Question:  But Wyoming is over 2000 miles away and you flew that distance and back today. 

Follow-up answer; No, you are not listening to what I said.  I said Wilmington DE to Wyoming DE a distance of 20 miles and that was in a 4 seater plane.  So, we know we do not need fossil fuels to fly.  I mean, come on man.  We can drive battery operated cars and soon battery operated planes.  By the year 2050 we will have accomplished this. 

Follow-up Question:  But this is the year 2020 and you are saying 2050. 

Answer: Come on man.  Listen to what I am saying.  We will not abandon all Fracking, just Fracking in this country.  Other countries will do the Fracking for us and we do not need cattle for meat as we can produce artificial meat, vegetables, and potatoes.  You must be a Dog face pony soldier.

Question:  You have stated that Trump did not act quickly enough in responding to the Coronavirus and that you would have acted sooner.  When Trump stopped flights from China in January, you claimed he was xenophobic and a racist.  And when he stopped flights from the EU you said he was overreacting.  Can you explain yourself?

Answer:  Come on Man.  Listen to what I said way back in November that the China virus was a threat and we should address this virus now.  But Trump waited until January when I was two months ahead. 

Follow-up Question:  There does not seem to be a record of you doing this. 

Answer:  Listen.  I sent Hunter to China to address this situation and he came back with a $1.5 billion deal that benefited him and me financially.  I mean our country, not me or Hunter.  This virus killed nearly 150 million people in this country by January and all we did was stop plane flights.  Even Pelosi knew that we should go to Chinatown and eat to our hearts content.  China was not the problem, but just some bats that flew the coup and traveled to the United States.   Come on man, it does not take a brain surgeon to see that.  I know what I am talking about if I could just get this hearing aid out of my ear.

Question:  Will you be leaving your basement to campaign this election and will you be participating in the upcoming scheduled debates. 

Answer:  I have left my basement.  In fact this week I just went to Kenosha Wisconsin and met with hundreds of residents in a question and answer meeting.

Follow-up Question:  But in Kenosha you spoke to residents in a church and there may have been only about 15 people and questions were already given to the reporters to ask. 

Answer:  You may have only seen 15 or so people, but I see all these people representing hundreds and yes the people were given questions they could ask since seeing such an old time politician like me we did not want them to feel frightened when their turn came.  We wanted to make sure we had the answers to their questions and not stumble in response that would not only confuse them, but due to my age, confuse me in responding.  Come on man.  I am no spring chicken.

Excuse me, but the questions being asked are not the ones that are written down on this paper I have and you are not one of the reporters that was directed to ask these questions.  My handlers are telling me in my hearing aid to end this conference, so I am leaving.  I do not mean hearing aid, but they are signaling me that this conference is over.  I do not need a hearing aid.  I mean, I can hear quite well when the questions are written down beforehand.